


Blood in the Snow

by kirja_rouva



Category: Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Genre: F/M, Kylo Ren PoV, Missing Scene, Other, Starkiller Base
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-06 19:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6766831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirja_rouva/pseuds/kirja_rouva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unmasked by his father, disarmed by the scavenger girl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Searing pain as a gash was branded across his face and cauterised at the same time. He fell back into the snow and looked up at the one who had finally disarmed him: the scavenger. None of his Knights could best him in a sparring match, no grandiose enemy had done him harm. Yet this girl and the traitor had landed blows upon him.

  
The girl's teeth were bared, her stance was predatory. In her eyes he saw her struggle not to kill him, he felt the aggression he had only tasted when he had interrogated her at full force. The ground shook and he resigned himself to either the planet or the girl killing him.

He still felt hollow from his final confrontation with his father. He did not feel the power his Master had promised him, rather he felt more cut off. An island. For good or ill he was bound to the Dark, there was no returning after what he had done.  
  
His Master had been right: it hadn't been merely the girl's strength that enabled her to resist him, it had been his own feelings. He regretted his compassion for the girl, for she felt none for him. He felt the hate and anger rolling off of the scavenger in waves, was certain that she had decided to end him. But...  
  
She was moving further away, but she appeared to be standing still. Perhaps he had gone mad? He lifted his head and considered a wide chasm that had opened between them. It glowed with the heat found deep within the planet and continued to grow. Though she was several metres away, he knew that she was looking at him as intently as he was looking at her. He felt her Force signature strongly for a moment, and then she turned and bolted into the forest, no doubt to rescue the traitor. His head fell back into the snow resignedly. They were all going to die on this planet. Perhaps the idea of dying alone upset her; it was a fate he had accepted long ago.  
  
The world shook even more violently, trees toppled around him, yet he couldn't find it within himself to move. The snow beneath him was soaking up more and more of his blood and melting into his robes. Minutes, hours, passed and he saw the painfully familiar shape of the Millennium Falcon ascend from the trees and leap out of the atmosphere.

So...they had survived.  
  
Baring his teeth, he grasped his destroyed lightsabre and wrenched himself to his feet. He welcomed the flood of pain and channeled it into power. Casting his mind out, he searched for a means of escape and came upon the worst and only option: Hux. General Hux was coming for him, he could almost taste the smugness.  
  
With all the effort he had, he propelled himself into the loathed General's mind and guided him to his location. A moment later he saw his Upsilon class ship appear over the tree tops and begin a haphazard descent about twenty metres away. Growling deep in his throat, he began limping towards it though another roil of the earth's surface brought him down to his knees.  
  
Shouting wordlessly he sunk his fingers into the snow and pulled his body along, leaving a heavy streak of blood behind him. The pain was swiftly becoming uncontrollable, a handicap rather than an asset. The ramp lowered as the ship touched down and a pair of officers dashed out, followed by Hux. The men grabbed Kylo under the arms and yanked him up almost roughly. If he had not been so vulnerable, so nearly delirious, he would have lashed out at them. However, he merely groaned as he tried to propel himself towards the ship with limited assistance. Hux walked just ahead, visibly fuming over the destruction of his masterpiece, and strangely content to be in the presence of Kylo Ren in this weakened state.  
  
Kylo swore to himself that he would end Hux if he tried to bring this incident up in the future. And he would. If they escaped the apocalypse of this planet, he no doubt would have to face Supreme Leader Snoke face-to-face and all that had transpired would come to light; there was no hiding from the Supreme Leader. In turn, he was certain parts of the narrative would be revealed to Hux, who would embellish the circumstances in his mind to torment Kylo Ren.  


 

He seemed to be passing in and out of consciousness, for he was suddenly strapped to a table in the med-bay while his robes were being cut off. A howl escaped him as the cloth was peeled away from the stickiness of his wounds and he struggled to regain control over himself. Whoever was responsible for this shied away from him and he jerked his head up to fix the medical staff with a glare.  
  
“Fix this, dammit,” he spat. “Do it now or I’ll end you.”  
  
Two women and a man darted over and finished peeling his clothes off while another began applying an icy salve to the injuries. The wound made by Chewbacca’s bowcaster was the most serious and received the most attention as it was still bleeding quite freely. However, it was the long gash across his face that had captured his attention.

Over the table were reflective mirrors and lights and through the glare he could catch glimpses of his face. So long had he worn his helm that it had almost become unfamiliar to him, but the blow that the scavenger had dealt him rendered it even more unrecognizable. His long pale face was almost precisely divided by the long red mark and his stomach turned at seeing it.  
  
He shut his eyes against the sight and wished for his helm. If he had ignored Han Solo’s command and kept it on his face would have remained unmarked and unblemished. The blood in his veins almost seemed to boil with the rage he felt. He had been unmasked by his father and disarmed by the scavenger girl. One moment of weakness had led to another and another until he had almost been killed. The anguish and humiliation he suffered almost made death preferable and he was glad that General Hux had returned to the front of the ship to take control of the navigation.  
  
As the medical attendants worked over him, he meditated. He concentrated on slowing his heartbeat and fostered a cool numbness until it spread throughout his body and mind. In those moments he was blissfully clear and his thinking became clinical. Supreme Leader Snoke had said that confronting his father would be his greatest test—the greatest test—and he had succeeded. Impetuously he had pursued the girl and the traitor, certain of his strength and prowess and he had failed. There was more to learn and he vowed he would subject himself to whatever his Master saw fit until he knew he could confront the girl and either end her or turn her, there would be no other alternative.  
  
Opening his eyes he brushed the attendants away and rose from the table. He needed to be alone. He needed to seek the pull of the Dark Side until it was all that he felt.


	2. Chapter 2

Rey wasn’t sure if she would get used to the sound of space rushing impossibly fast past her while she sat in the captain’s chair of the Millennium Falcon. She had travelled and seen more than she had thought possible over the last couple of weeks, and it still filled her with awe every time she entered or exited a planet’s atmosphere. She glanced over at Chewie who sat beside her in his first mate’s seat.

When it became clear that it was time for her to leave the Resistance base in the Illenium system, Chewie had generously offered her the use of the Falcon and then had insisted that she take the captain’s chair.  
  
With a sense of reverence and gravitas, Rey had strapped herself in and run her fingers over the controls. Her heart was heavy with the memory of Han Solo and his sacrifice. As they hurtled to where Luke Skywalker was hidden, Rey felt her stomach clench. All she had wanted was revenge as she fought Kylo Ren during the destruction of Starkiller Base. Having yet another important figure in her life snatched away too soon had catalyzed a strength and rage within her that she hadn’t known existed. And fear. She had never felt fear like that before.  
  
-  
  
Growing up alone on a hostile planet had hardened Rey to the many dangers around her, and over time she had learned to conquer all of them. Even as she and Finn had been chased down by First Order troops and had commandeered the Falcon on Jakku, she hadn’t felt fear—only excitement and adrenaline. But on Takodana, in Maz’s storeroom underground, she had faced fear for the first time in many years. Fear and uncertainty for her past and her future, and anguish at Maz’s words that there was no one out there who was searching for her. Unbalanced by the barrage of unfamiliar emotions, she had fled the castle-like cantina and run as deep into the woods as she could without stopping.  
  
The greenery that had so intrigued her before barely made an impression, as she had bent over to catch her breath only to have BB-8 appear near her. And then the too-familiar sound of enemy ships approaching had strangely jarred her out of her turmoil. Finn and Han were back at the cantina, Chewie was surely by the Falcon, and BB-8 needed to get as far away from the First Order as he could. Barely considering the consequences, she had un-holstered the blaster Han had given her and charged back towards Maz’s palace.  
  
The fear came back, and the anger, when she sighted two First Order troops in the outskirts of the forest. She aimed, pulled the trigger, remembered the safety, and fired again. Her shot was true and she felled a troop. A strange feeling overcame her, one that she had no experienced. It was a mixture of shock at what she had done, as well as an overwhelming sense of power. A Stormtrooper fired at her and missed, she fired back and did not miss. One had certainly alerted others to her presence, and she found herself dashing back through the forest, firing and looking for cover.  
  
With her neutral-coloured clothes, she managed to hide from the eyes of the Stormtroopers as they tramped inelegantly through the underbrush in their shining armour. She had almost had time to catch her breath when she felt a chilling presence enter her space; someone Dark and powerful was near. Quietly, she inched backwards into a gully, her blaster held out as she scanned her surroundings for the source of the power. And then she saw it. Him. A giant figure clothed from head to foot in black, wearing a helm, and bearing a jagged red lightsaber advanced upon her silently. Somehow she knew that he had been able to feel her presence just as she had felt his, and that had led him straight to her without preamble.  
  
Not thinking, she had fired upon him rapidly, though he skillfully batted away each bolt. She scrambled up the gully towards higher ground and continued firing on him, though he advanced undeterred. He deflected her shots with a series of blows with his lightsaber, he was invincible and terrifying. She felt her hope fading, her fear rising, she was certain that this was where she would die. Still, she continued her feeble attack, refusing to be taken down by cowardice. He seemed to have had enough of her attempts, and raised his arm, his hand gesturing at her. She had expected death, but something worse had happened: she had no control over her body. Only her eyes could move, she could not command her body to perform an action.

“The girl I’ve heard so much about,” he said. His strangely modulated voice matched his weapon: it wavered and crackled through the mask, and she imagined that a truly disfigured monster must lurk beneath it. He circled her, sizing her up. “The droid.” With a flash his lightsaber was poised inches from her neck, its reverberating hum filled her ears. “Where is it?”

Rey didn’t think that she could speak, so filled with terror as she was. She blinked her eyes fiercely, not allowing any tears to form or escape. When it became clear that she would not speak, or could not, he tried a different approach. The masked figure disengaged his lightsaber and circled her until he stood before her eyes. He stretched out his hand to her again, and she wondered if he was going to hurl her into a tree or kill her with whatever power he possessed.

Instead, what she felt was a needling of pain snake through her mind. As he rifled through her mind, she saw what he saw and it caused unfathomable pain. Her most private and intimate moments were laid bare to this predatory stranger, and there was nothing she could do about it.  
Perhaps sensing her discomfort, but more likely impatient, the shadowy man made his search more specific, and bypassed her more personal memories.

“The map,” he said, almost wonderingly. “You’ve seen it.” He redoubled his efforts and Rey felt tears spill from her eyes unbidden. With all her might, she struggled against the probe. If she had to die to save BB-8, the Resistance, Luke Skywalker, then so be it. Perhaps it would bring meaning to an otherwise colourless life.

Before the man could break through whatever resistance Rey had mustered, the filtered voice of Stormtrooper interrupted, announcing that Resistance fighters had arrived, and that they required more troops. For a moment Rey’s heart soared. Perhaps Han and Finn would have a chance at escape, perhaps the man would leave her in the woods and she would be able to escape as well. But no.

“Pull the division out,” was the clipped reply. “Forget the droid. We have what we need.”  
And then a blanket of darkness fell over her mind. She remembered no more.

  
  
When she did awake, it was in a cold low-lit room and she had the sense that some time had passed. She tried to sit up, but found herself strapped into an angled platform, and that crouched in front of her at the other side of the cell was the man who had captured her. They had exchanged words, words that could almost be described as small talk as they didn’t pertain to the obvious task at hand: retrieving the map from her mind. He sounded almost perplexed when he stated that she still wanted to kill him.

“That’s what happens when you’re being hunted by a creature in a mask,” she’d shot back evenly. But then, much to her surprise, there was a click as he unlatched his helm and removed it, revealing a very human quite boyish face. He was much younger than she had anticipated, with an unblemished and almost beautiful face. She wondered if her surprise showed on her face, surely he could feel it, but he said nothing as he dropped his helm and advanced upon her.

He asked about the droid, and Rey glibly rattled off the schematics of the BB-8 unit, praying that the Resistance had recovered him. At least she knew that the First Order had not, otherwise she would probably be dead instead of being questioned. The man waved aside her attempts at stalling and continued, telling her that he knew about the chart the droid was carrying, and that it was the last piece that he needed. Then with a note of surprise: “And somehow, you convinced the droid to show it to you. You—a scavenger.”

Rey stifled an intake of breath. How did he know about that? Had it been so simple to glean that piece of information from her memories? What else had he uncovered? Before she could catalogue her thoughts, he moved closer into her space, his hand hovering near her face. She stared straight ahead, defiantly, refusing to look at his strangely youthful face.

“You know I can take whatever I want,” he murmured, and it somehow didn’t sound like a threat—it sounded like an entreaty. He moves his hand closer and they both drew a quick breath as a familiar chord was struck and recognized by both of them. But the moment disappeared quickly as he resumed his onslaught into her mind. Every muscle in Rey’s body tensed as she tried to beat him back and resist the invasion. Though the room had been cold when she awoke, she felt sweat beading on her brow. Images of her own life, some familiar and some not so much, flashed before her eyes.

“You’re so lonely,” he almost crooned. “So afraid to leave. At night, desperate to sleep, you imagine an ocean. I see it—I see the island.” The voice was almost relaxing, almost understanding and empathetic. For a moment she wondered if he also feltlonely and tears rolled down her face. But then the voice changed almost immediately. “And Han Solo. You feel like he’s the father you never had. He would’ve disappointed you.”

“Get out of my head,” she said tightly, pushing him away from those feelings.  
He moved further away, but his arm was still stretched out to her. “I know you’ve seen the map. It’s in there. And now you will give it to me.” A pause. “Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.”

“I’m not giving you anything,” Rey managed to gasp out.

There had been a slight smile on the man’s face, he'd been confident. “We’ll see.”  
This time the attack on her mind had been stronger and more thorough. Instead of skimming over the surface of her mind, he'd dug deep and methodically. The pain was almost overwhelming, but Rey had found within herself a strength she had not known and pushed back.

Much to her satisfaction, she saw his confident expression waver. In a disorienting moment, she found herself in his mind, and not at the surface. No, she was just as deep as he was in her mind and suddenly she felt as though she understood and knew him better than anyone else in the galaxy. She knew Kylo Ren.

“You,” she forced out. “You’re afraid…that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader!”

It was as though she had struck him. His whole body jerked back and with that the connexion between their minds severed. He was out her mind and she was out of his. A moment later her grabbed his mask and stalked out of the cell, the door slamming shut behind him.   
  
-  
  
Back on the Falcon, Rey was brought back from her reverie by the beeping of the control panel, alerting her to drop out of light speed. As she did so, a blue and green planet dropped into view and she was against stunned by the beauty of it. Beside her, Chewie began the protocol to descend and she watched in fascination as they dipped into the atmosphere and skimmed down through the clouds and over impossible reaches of blue water. She felt some of her tension melt away as she knew that she was safe and that she belonged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to make this more than a one-shot and gave it a go with writing from Rey's perspective. Please let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first Star Wars fic so I'm very excited yet also nervous. Please leave comments, kudos, and love!


End file.
